HONORING YOUR CAPACITY:
Beautiful Boundaries for a Joy-Filled Holiday Season
“I can't do this by myself” I groan, sinking into a kitchen chair.
For just a moment, I lean my elbows on the table, burying my tear-streamed face in my hands.
“How did this day spin out of control so fast”?
Just this morning I’d been elated to learn that I’d be hosting a house full of special guests. I’d felt so honored to use my gift of hospitality; loving to cook and preparing food for people.
How did my excitement and joy morph into frustration and dread so quickly?
Oh, how badly I wanted everything perfect, but right now, things are anything but.
My capacity depleted quickly, especially since my sister—my only helper in the kitchen—abandoned me to socialize with the guests.
I confess that this is not my story specifically, but quite possibly the story of many women since biblical times!
And doesn't this happen to so many of us during a typical holiday season?
We begin with anticipation, excitement, and joy for a beautiful time of celebration. BUT…… our thoughts and emotions quickly spiral into dread and overwhelm as cultural expectations and traditions take hold. Then the wake of exhaustion comes as a result.
Our hearts desire is to bring our gifts to the season of Christmas, but often misjudge our capacity and overextend ourselves. This misalignment is what causes our hearts to turn towards dread, sometimes blaming others or feeling alone in our “good" efforts.
So how do we approach such a joyous season and continue to maintain peace without stressing over what we think it “should” look like?
BOUNDARIES. When we neglect to place boundaries on our time, talents, and treasures we tend to have less joy, more stress, ending in exhaustion (or relief that it’s over). Whereas, when we place more boundaries on those things we can feel more rested at the end of the season.
Setting boundaries allows us to take radical ownership of our decisions; giving us permission to say NO while inspiring boldness, confidence, and authority over the YESes -while offering our God given gifts. Boundaries enable us to live within our capacity, bringing more joy and peace to our lives.
Here are a few ways we can celebrate with beautiful boundaries during our holiday season.
Boundaries that include time for physical rest and spiritual rest & worship
- Prioritize time for REST & WORSHIP first.
- Block out (non-negotiable) time in your calendar to NOT plan things. I call this my “whitespace” time.
- Plan activities that you find joyful and truly bring rest to your soul.
Boundaries against the pressure of cultural norms for traditions, celebrations, and giving (even with extended family)
- Give yourself permission to say NO (quality not quantity)
- Decide criteria for your YESes ahead of time and stick to it!
- Allow your YESes to bring joy, peace, and rest NOT stress
What you've just read are excerpts from my VERY FIRST published magazine article, titledCELEBRATING THE HOLIDAYS WITH BEAUTIFUL BOUNDARIES found in THE SISTERHOOD MAGAZINE
It's hard to believe that I wrote and published this one year ago (CELEBRATE WITH ME!!!).
Each year, as Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's holidays approach, I have to remind myself the importance of these beautiful boundaries AND because they have been instilled deep in my soul they are also worth sharing again.
I invite you to read the rest of this article as it continues the touching story of the woman illustrated above. You will also see Jesus' example of resisting "doing too much".