The Only Thing That Felt True In The Midst Of Spiritual Heaviness
It’s been several months since I have shown up in your inbox…. I’m truly sorry that I haven’t been present. This of course was never my intention.
My heart has always been to be transparent as we journey together to cultivate healthy rhythms in our lives and homes. I never see myself as “ARRIVED” in any particular area and certainly do not feel like I have it all figured out, by any means. God is taking me through this continuous process of cultivation, planting, growing, and pruning in order to produce the fruit He desires from me.
So friend, theTRANSPARENT TRUTH is…. I’ve been in the midst of a hard season; in the trenches of spiritual warfare and depletion. I’ve repeatedly found myself at the feet of Jesus!
In the past, winter months have been hard, but this year as spring approached I was feeling a type of burnout that I don't think I've ever felt before. This burnout hit me from all sides physically, mentally, and emotionally. There were days that I had zero capacity to do anything but take care of my basic needs and sit in the presence of the Lord.
Here are a few things I journaled in early March from my daily devotional based on Psalm 145:18.
“God draws near to us because He is good, kind, merciful, and humble. and we call on Him in truth when we humbly submit our will to his and genuinely delight in Him.”
( from the YouVersion Daily Devotional March 9, 2024)
I NEEDED this reminder. I penned a short prayer and list of messy emotions….
“Father God, YOU are the only thing that feels TRUE today.”
I feel:
Hurt …Grief…Depressed
Frustrated… Angry
Irritated…Critical
Rejected… Insignificant
Helpless… Insecure
Anxious
Inadequate… Inferior
Lonely… Abandoned
“Hear the voice of my supplications when I cry to you for help. when I lift up my hands towards your holy sanctuary. Do not drag me away with the wicked.” Psalm 28:2-3
In the midst of spiritual heaviness, my time with Jesus was both comforting and soothing. I’m so so thankful that I had a solid morning rhythm of spending time with Jesus, or my response to this season might have looked quite different. I’ve learned that in the winter season things are still happening beneath the soil in those dark places. In my case the roots have been growing DEEP.
Though God has been teaching me new things in this hard season, my mission to help us all cultivate rhythms in our life and home aligning with the heart of God, still stands firm.
Be checking your inbox as I will be sending a few follow-up emails in the near future that answer the questions:
- What is God doing NOW?
- What might my future path look like?
“ The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9
For you reading this, thank you for sticking with me! Regardless of the season I’m in I want what God chooses to teach me to be an encouragement to you.
Blessings of Wellness to You Friend,
Melissa
PS Rhythms are not all that I love to cultivate.....I also have taken up cultivating plants. Another thing that sooths my soul.